Almost 2 years ago I posted a video telling people to quit gaming and it seemed to hit a nerve.

It has the most comments of any video on my channel. Everything from “this video changed my life, I just quit video games” to “stop trying to scam children." I've pasted a few of my favorites throughout this newsletter.

After reading every single one, I realized something: the people defending gaming the hardest often revealed exactly why it’s a problem in their own words.

But first, let me tell you what I "accomplished" across my amateur gaming career:

• Lego Star Wars: maxed out all levels, collected every coin, got all the red bricks
• Pokemon: beat the Elite Four, max level Pokemon
• Mario Kart: gold on all tracks, all characters unlocked
• Halo Reach: Mythic level, unlocked fancy armor with credits
• Modern Warfare 2: prestige master, quick scoping expert
• Skyrim: unlocked all skill trees, max level character
• COD Black Ops 2: prestige master, round 50+ on zombies
• Clash of Clans: Champions League, level 11 town hall
• Minecraft: built huge cities, automatic farms, stacks of diamonds, beat the Ender Dragon countless times
• FIFA: ultimate team with all the best players
• GTA: accumulated loads of money, fancy cars
• Super Smash Bros: learned all the combos for Ness to beat friends
• Fortnite, Warzone: countless battle royale wins, victory screens

The list goes on…

If you've ever played video games ask yourself the following:

The answer is nothing.

After turning off the console, my life was exactly the same. None of those achievements mattered, they were just pixels on a screen. They don’t matter now.

But what I didn’t explain in that original video was the deeper psychology behind why this happens - and why the people in the comments defending gaming are missing the point entirely.

The “Moderation” Myth (And the Brain Science Behind Why It Fails)

The most common pushback was something like this:

Then I saw this reply that cut straight to the truth:

But even this response misses the deeper issue. The problem isn't that people lack willpower for moderation - it's that "moderation" is the wrong framework entirely when dealing with something specifically designed to be addictive.

You wouldn't tell an alcoholic to "drink in moderation." You wouldn't tell a gambling addict to "just bet a little." So why do we pretend gaming's addiction mechanics don't exist?

Here's what I didn't explain clearly in my last video: gaming hijacks your natural drive for achievement and convinces you that virtual progress counts as real progress. While I was grinding for all those achievements I listed, I was wasting that natural drive for progress and spending it all on games, leaving none for my actual life.

And the insidious part? The whole time, I told myself I was being "moderate" and "balanced."

Dr. Anna Lembke, Stanford’s Chief of Addiction Medicine and author of the New York Times bestselling “Dopamine Nation,” explains exactly why this happens neurologically: when we repeatedly spike our dopamine with artificial rewards (like gaming achievements), our baseline dopamine drops. This means everything else starts feeling boring by comparison.

But it goes deeper than brain chemistry. Gaming doesn’t just steal your time - it hijacks the exact psychological drives that could make you unstoppable in real life.

One commenter experienced this firsthand:

This is what dopamine hijacking looks like in real life. Your brain becomes wired to crave the easy, immediate rewards of gaming over the slower, more meaningful rewards of real achievement.

The average American gamer spends over 650 hours per year gaming (I know many people who spend much more than this). That’s not moderation - that’s more time than most people spend exercising, reading, and learning new skills combined. And because of the dopamine hijacking, those hours don’t just disappear - they actively make you less motivated to pursue everything else.

The “Relaxation” Lie (Why Gaming Isn’t Actually Restful)

Many people defend gaming as stress relief.

I used to believe this too. Coming home exhausted, gaming felt like the perfect way to relax and recharge.

Here’s what I learned: gaming isn’t relaxing - it’s highly stimulating disguised as recovery.

Real relaxation involves lowering your nervous system activation. Reading a book, taking a walk, having a conversation, meditation, or literally doing nothing. These activities allow your brain to actually rest and reset.

Gaming floods your brain with:

• Flashing lights and rapid visual stimulation
• Constant decision-making and problem-solving
• Variable reward schedules (the same psychology used in gambling)
• Social pressure and competition
• Adrenaline spikes from challenges and victories

This isn’t relaxation - it’s artificial stimulation that makes you feel temporarily better while making actual rest feel boring.

One honest gamer captured this: “Gaming is made to relax and ignore your problems. Just like a movie or a show. But tbh at least with a movie it gets me into deep thought, some games have to but still not the same.”

This person gets it, but there’s something even deeper here.

I used to tell myself (and my parents) that gaming helped me “relax and wind down after a hard day.” Looking back, this was completely wrong.

Think about it - most games today aren’t relaxing at all. Maybe Minecraft is somewhat relaxing, but everything else? It’s super high adrenaline, things flashing all over the screen, killing people, being yelled at by teammates. That’s not relaxation - that’s stress disguised as entertainment.

After I quit gaming, simple pleasures became rewarding again. Conversations felt engaging. Books became interesting. Nature walks felt energizing instead of boring. This is what happens when you reset your dopamine baseline - the real world becomes stimulating again.

But gaming was just the beginning. The same dopamine hijacking happens with social media, YouTube, Netflix, and news. If you've escaped gaming but still find yourself distracted by your phone and computer, the problem isn't willpower - it's your entire digital environment working against you.

The key to making this shift is building systems that channel your energy into real progress instead of virtual achievements.

Ready to redirect that energy into organizing your actual life?

​Click here to to organize, systemize, and automate your life in 7 days.

​

“But my life is fine” (the Opportunity Cost You’re Ignoring)

The second most common defense was:

I’m genuinely happy this person has a good life. But here’s what this argument misses: you’re successful despite gaming, not because of it.

Here’s my story: I used to justify my gaming habits the same way. I had decent grades, social relationships, wasn’t a complete mess. “See? Gaming isn’t hurting me.”

But when I honestly calculated the hours - 15-20 hours per week of gaming, plus all the time spent thinking about games, watching gaming content, and talking about games - I was spending more time in virtual worlds than pursuing any real-world skill.

Those 650+ hours per year could have been invested in:

• Building deeper relationships with family and friends
• Developing career skills that lead to promotions and higher income
• Learning instruments, languages, or creative abilities
• Starting businesses or side projects
• Improving physical and mental health
• Traveling and experiencing the actual world

The opportunity cost isn’t just massive - it compounds over time. Real skills build on each other. Real relationships deepen with attention. Real businesses grow with consistent effort.

One commenter revealed the real issue: “My life is great. Why would i want it to be changed? I love playing games… This sounds exhausting. I don’t mean that to be mean, but the idea that everything in my life needs to be optimized…”

This response is fascinating because it reveals what gaming actually does: it makes you content with “good enough.”

While "over-optimization" is certainly a real issue, the idea that continuous growth feels “exhausting” is because gaming has rewired your brain to prefer easy rewards over meaningful challenges. You’ve become satisfied with a comfortable life instead of an extraordinary one.

Which is fine - if mediocrity is truly what you want. But I suspect if you’re reading this, part of you knows you’re capable of more.

The Skills Transfer Reality Check (A Veteran Gamer’s Brutal Truth)

Every gaming defense gets comments about transferable skills, but then I saw this from a 20+ year gamer:

This hit me hard because it came from someone who lived it, not some outside critic.

Here’s what I realized in my own gaming journey: yes, you develop some transferable skills. Strategic thinking, pattern recognition, persistence, learning complex systems.

But here’s the brutal truth: if you want these skills, why not develop them in contexts that actually matter?

• Want strategic thinking? Study business strategy with real money on the line
• Want teamwork skills? Join sports teams or work on real projects with real consequences
• Want problem-solving abilities? Build something in the actual world
• Want competitive drive? Compete in fitness, business, or creative challenges

The skills you develop solving real problems with real stakes will dwarf anything you learn optimizing builds in virtual worlds.

When people who’ve invested decades into gaming start saying this, maybe it’s time to listen.

The Social Reality (What Nobody Wants to Acknowledge)

This comment was harsh but made me think:

Before you get defensive, ask yourself: when was the last time you met someone you genuinely admired - someone with an amazing career, deep relationships, interesting experiences, and impressive accomplishments - who was also spending 15+ hours per week gaming?

These people exist, but they’re rare. And when they do exist, they usually have their priorities straight: real life comes first, gaming is minimal.

Another commenter shared the personal cost:

Now, I know some of you are thinking about the friendships you’ve built through gaming. This was actually an argument I used against my parents when they told me to stop playing: “This is how I hang out with my friends!”

Here’s the nuanced truth from my experience: some gaming friendships can transcend the virtual world, but most can’t.

I had friends who seemed like close friends in the context of gaming, but the moment I stopped playing, we just rarely talked afterwards. The relationship only existed within that gaming context.

Luckily, some of my closer friendships, although they developed partially through gaming, were able to transcend that context because we spent time developing them in real life too. Those friendships have lasted years after I quit gaming.

But here’s the key question: if you take away the gaming, how many of those friendships would actually survive? For most people, the honest answer is uncomfortable.

The pattern is clear: virtual social connection gradually replaces real relationships. Virtual achievements replace real accomplishments. Virtual progression replaces real growth.

The Transformation Stories (Proof This Works)

But the comments weren’t all defensive. Many people shared breakthrough moments:

These people understand what I learned: choosing virtual achievement over real accomplishment is a trap disguised as entertainment.

My own transformation happened gradually. At first, everything felt boring without the constant stimulation of gaming. But as my dopamine baseline reset, simple activities became engaging again.

More importantly, I started applying that same gaming energy - the obsession with improvement, the strategic thinking, the persistence - to real-world domains.

The result? In the time I used to spend gaming, I've built a business, been prompted multiple times, doubled my income, improved my health, strengthened relationships, and developed skills that compound forever instead of resetting with every season or new release.

​

P.S. Ready to redirect that energy into building the organized, fulfilling life you actually want?

​Click here to learn my complete system for going from chaos to clarity.

​

​